This is Will Ferrell at his fucking finest. Traipsing through New York, get plowed into by taxis, tasting shitty coffee, and singing loud for all to hear are all part of this magical adventure, and I’m frankly here for it. If you haven’t said “Byeeee Buddy, hope you find your dad” to at least one friend when she strays out of a bar, I don’t want to know you.
2. ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’
If you like, need to cry and feeling appreciated, this is probs what you should watch. Grab your sweatpants and watch the 1940 s movie that they are able to stimulate “youre feeling” low-key vexed no guy ever offered to buy you the moon.
3. ‘Die Hard’
I don’t even care if this doesn’t count–it’s amazing. It’s astonishing in July, it’s amazing in September, and goddamnit, it’s amazing at Christmas time. Watching Bruce Willis in his exaltation days frustrate felony while constructing v 80 s comebacks is perfect with alcoholic eggnog and a slice of pie.
4. ‘Rudolph the Red Snout Reindeer’
This OG creepy claymation movie is life. It’s the ultimate narrative of revenge–kid gets constructed fun of for having what is clearly a serious deformity, runs away, satisfies a ogre and homeless Yukon pervert who licks amber, kidnaps a lady deer, then takes revenge and highjacks Santa’s sleigh. That’s pretty much exactly how this movie goes, with all its 60 s wholesomeness plus some sing-a-longs.
5. ‘How The Grinch Stole Christmas’
NOT THE ATROCIOUSLY BAD JIM CARREY VERSION. I’m talking the original animated 30 -minute Grinch that struck fear into children’s nerves back in the 60 s. Not simply do I know all the words to every chant in this feature, but I recognize a lot with the Grinch, who, at the end of the day, just wanted some goddamn peace and quiet. My heart, too, is several sizings too small, and I’m not ashamed of that.
6. National Lampoon’s ‘Christmas Vacation’
Nothing helps me identify with feeling like I’m in a goddamn insane asylum when my in-laws are around than watching Chevy Chase literally hallucinate imaginary women in this classic. If you, too, get kicks from animals being electrocuted by trees, sewage running down streets, and rampant child endangerment, this is the movie for you.
7. ‘Home Alone’
Full disclosure, I hadn’t seen this movie all the way through until last year. My first issue is, who are these parents that leave a kid at home in that fucking manor? Second topic, wtf does Mr. McCallister do for a fucking life and is he available? Watch this and the sequel just for the Trump cameo, then scream yourself to sleep.
8. ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’
Idk if this is a Halloween movie or a Christmas movie, but something about kidnapping Santa, terrorizing children, and ghost dogs truly got me. Real thought–isn’t this a lil dark to be a children’s movie? I feel like it more closely aligns with being an artistic autobiography of Tim Burton’s real life adventures.
9. ‘A Christmas Story’
So much good here. If you, for some unknown reason, have not managed to see at the least 30 minutes of this while it airs for 24 hours straight on Christmas day, dishonor on you. Do yourself a favor and bask in the exaltation that is a fishnet-clad lamp, the meditate of saying “fuck” in front of your mothers, and understanding what happens when you lick a frozen flagpole.
10. ‘Charlie Brown Christmas’
You know you’ve referred to the bundle of stays you call a tree as a Charlie Brown Christmas tree. This shit has a chokehold on visions of Christmas, and it’s all thanks to these wacky kids and their unsupervised escapades.