Good news for those of you who are dissatisfied with your current employment: A task just opened up that they are able to either be the best thing that ever happened to you, or a -On-Steroids-esque nightmare. Corinne Olympios is looking for an helper. I’ll give you a second to take that in. Ms. Olympios( as I’m sure you’ll be required to call her) put out the call for personal assistants via Insta Story this morning, and said she is looking for an LA based aide “with experience.”

Question: Does watching obsessive amounts of count as experience? If so, I’m very experienced.

Corinne( wearing the very professional Instagram dog filter) goes on to say that she is “looking at resumes today” but provides no info as to where to mail said resumes. Consider seeing Corinne’s email your first test.

Corinne aims her Tale with one piece of advice for anyone who wants to join Team Corn, and it’s likely best if you take it seriously:

I mean, that sounds about right. Recollect how she casually dropped three grand on a single shopping journey with Nick? Somebody’s gotta go back and return that shit when she realise she hates all of it. And sure, you’ll likely report directly to Raquel, but there are going to be a lot of non-cheese pastarelated tasks that will be your responsibility. Someone’s gotta wake her up from her sleeps and re-schedule all of her appointments when she refuses to get up and sleeps through everything. Sounds like a dream, no pun intended.

BRB. Preemptively sending in my two weeks’ notice and relocating to Los Angeles now.

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