This is the United Nations, the center of world diplomacy. Countries from all over the world gather here to bicker about their differences and get nothing attained. This may seem like a huge waste of time, but it’s actually much better than the alternative, which is World War III.

You visit the conference room where ambassadors hang out to argue with one another. “Good morning, Mr. Secretary-General, ” the diplomats greet you in unison.

Your stomach is rumbling like a blender full of boulders. You truly need to wrap up this diplomacy material, pronto.

The French diplomat clears his throat. “Yes, we are about to go to war with our hated enemy England.”

Uh-oh, he’s lifting weights. This is a traditional form of diplomatic saber rattling that countries use to show their power. If he’s doing workout at the United Nations, that signifies armed conflict could erupt between France and England at any second.

Knowing that your bowels could evacuate the entire frozen package of hot dogs you feed this morning at any moment, you have to propose a peace treaty between England and France on how to equitably divide Stonehenge and the Eiffel Tower, and pronto!

Former Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi is sitting on the lavatory. “Occupied, ” says the brutal dictator. “My bad, I should have locked the door.”

You open the door and find Bill Gates sitting on the toilet, but not actually defecating. The toilet lid is down, and Bill Gate’s pants are up.

The billionaire philanthropist is lost in thought and doesn’t notice you enter.

“Don’t worry, I’ll squish it! ” wails Bill Gates. He runs out to the United nations organization parking lot, hop-skip into his auto, and drives into your car at 90 mph, totaling both vehicles.

Bill Gates dizzily clambers out of the wreckage of his vehicle. He has a long gash bleed on his forehead where it hit the steering wheel. “I don’t realize the mosquito, ” he wails out in advising. “I think it got away. Don’t let it bite you, or you might get malaria! ”

You’ve successfully tricked Bill Gates into leaving the toilet.