Alright yall, three cocktails deep and I came straight home to do this recap so typing at a rapid speed is hard. Last week the best couple to ever grace, Cam and Mikala, were saved. Still waiting for the real reason they broke up like 😀 TAG 8 TT

Tori : Poor Mike and Felicia. Bye Felicia.

Tori spending like, six weeks in a house with a girl and not even knowing her epithet is me at every party.

Cams telling Mikala to hold on a little bit longer over the track of someone giggling maniacally in the background. Devin, perhaps?

Cam: If we can make it here we can make it anywhere.

Uh, this aint New York. If you are able to make it here in this game you are able to make it running a few light errands in some large-ish English-speaking cities, but that’s about it.

Shandys talking to Cam like Would you feel terrible if you dragged her through this and you both went home with nothing? Like bitch, who wouldnt? The point of this entire game is not to go home with nothing. Are you new?

Adam and Shanley( I merely remembered her epithet fr but I frankly like her better as Shandy) go to talk. Shes like Im so proud of myself and how Ive performed and you need to get your head in video games. OK, High School Musical. This bitch is really going back from the beginning to be like Who discovered the emoji week 1? Who give you a pencil that one time in fourth grade math class?

Shanley thinks that because she acknowledges on camera that she has a awful attitude that absolves her of having a awful attitude. Shes like all the girls who mentions shes brutally honest as a carte blanche to act like an asshole not how it works, boo boo.

THE MISSION

Karamo: To have any success as a perfect match, you and your collaborator have to be on the same page.

Ya Karamo WE HAVE BEEN FUCKING AWARE.

So for todays mission theyre scheming a beach party. TF is this shit, my sorority recruitment? They already filmed a skit , now they’re scheming “states parties “, what’s next? Making some Oreo truffles?

OK so this is basically the newlyweds game, but for party planning. That constructs it SLIGHTLY more complicated but not really.

Cam : Idk this is nerve-wracking, weve never hurled “states parties ” before.

Yeah Im worried about how Im gonna pay rent this month, but tell me again how nervous you are planning a fucking party when all you have to do is have been selected to two options.

The first station is to choose between alcohol or beer. For “states parties “? Who tf would choose beer? That “wouldve been” immediate grounds for dismissal tbh.

Cam chose beer for “states parties ” and Mikala chose cocktails.

Everyone: IDK where this liquor store is!

Shannon: * Reads signs in English* got it!

Tori carries that bucket of alcohol like a bawss. I legit adoration Tori. Tori, consider this your personal invitation to hang out with me in Astoriaassuming youre not too good for Astoria anymore.

The entertainment is band or DJ? Da fuq? We scheming “states parties ” or a fucking wedding in 1999? Im sorry but like MTV, wtf is this rn.

CAM PICKED BEER AND BAND. Remind me to never attend a party Cams throwing.

Devin is like If we have a physical rivalry Rashida and I are gonna lose. If thats the instance I fail to see how yall thought signing up for an MTV challenge was a good idea.

What is with these lame-ass dudes reckoning one wants beer and bands at “states parties “? No ponder these guys had to go on a dating depict to find a girlfriend. It all constructs appreciation now.

All right, youve persuaded me. Im putting in my application for. Insure you on season 6! I’ll be the least attractive one who’s dead inside. It’s a whodunit why I’m single, really.

And the wins are Adam and Shanley. Its like every week MTV goes hmmm who could really use a W? and then constructs up a challenge on the spot thats specifically tailored to that pair.

Damn how did Tori and Morgan end up in almost last place? Like, I know how because Ive been watching it, but damn. The tides have turned.

Its a little pathetic to see Rashida apologize to Devin for being an asshole when Devin was clearly the one has become a douche like I feel like Devin could murder person and is just like Im so sorry for killing that person and Rashida would be like sorry for killing that person !! OMG determine were like the same !!!

Mikala get side-tracked at the final stage of this mission because she saw a bird-dog is me af.

Holy shit, Tori and Morgan lose. Ugh this is extremely upsetting. They lost 50% of our bank and I bet Morgan is regretting not stealing two weeks ago like never before.

I should be drinking water, but I guess Im gonna drink some liquor Morgan and likewise me

Adam: * Wins one challenge* Shanley and I are easily the best competitors in the house.

Cam and Mikala are talking and Mikala is like the thinks always there that Ill steal like maybe not the best thing to say right to your collaborator when the whole game is based off not stealing.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Everyones joking about the size of Adams dick and hes like LOL yeah my dick is entirely the size of a water bottle and Shanley is like LIAR!

Adam : How is my penis starting all this drama when Im not even putting it into anyone?

Shanley : I just heard you talk yourself up and I told you to prove it and you wouldnt.

So like, Shanley is LITERALLY mad that Adam didn’t show her his penis. The solution to all your problems is so simple: SHE WANTS THE D! Adam, how can you be so blind!

Not sure how much liquor Shanley has drank but shes like Send me tf home. I dont even fucking care.

Morgan: I am merely kinda dead inside at this moment.

Same tho. Welcome to team dead inside! I am the captain but you can easily join our ranks.

Tori is drunkenly rubbing Morgans back and talking about her sentiments. Like Im somewhat uncomfortable rn.

Morgan: Will you watch me sleep for a while?

Tori : Yeah

Me :

Devin is trying to tell Morgan to vote him in to the choice because hell steal. Hes like Ive never lied before, why would I lie now? I’m sorry, when has Devin lied?

Meanwhile, Mikala is like put me in, tutor to Tori.

THE CHOICE

MORGAN CAME THROUGH WITH THE TUX. Brb, gotta change my underwear. JK y’all know I simply have eyes for Derrick( RIP ).

Im gonna be so sad if Morgan and Tori go home. Why couldnt the coming week be the blind trust? Can this be like a situation, where they decide to send all final four teams to Fashion Week?

And the couple going into the choice is Cam and Mikala.

Devins like damn I had a speech and everything.

Rashida: Oh so you merely wanna steal my money.

Devin : I mean that would be classic Devin but I would never do that.

Rashida/ Me :

See like if it were me Id merely is just like Im gonna made steal, if you reach share Ill separated the money with you. Shit, I gotta stop expose all my secrets in these summaries or they’ll never pick me for the show.

Cam : I feel like Ive been a piece of shit for a couple weeks but from here on out Im gonna put you as number one.

Mikala: Youre still my best friend and Ill do this for as long as you wanna do it.

Blah blah blah oh this is lame now. Wheres the suspense? They’re plainly both gonna share.

And the choices are.

YA’ ANOTHER BLIND CHOICE !!! Ahhh WHO CALLED IT! WHO THE FUCK CALLED IT!

Dont mind me, I’m merely over here like 😛 TAGEND

Everyone else is like:

Mikala is like Fuck I guess are particularly still in this then.

Can’t wait for the final, it’s gonna be illuminated moderately challenging.

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