This week, Pepsi released the commercial for their new Live For Now Moments Anthem campaign( which is a fucking mouthful and what does it mean ??), and to say people are unimpressed would be an understatement. In times like this, it seemed like there was nothing that could unify the American public, but Pepsi and Kendall Jenner have managed to do it by offending literally every single person with this bizarre ad. We’re going to break it down for you, but we recommend first watching the video in its entirety here. Do it now while you still canwe have a feeling it’s not going to be up for much longer.

Basically, the painfully long ad presents an off-brand Black Lives Matter march going down the street where Kendall Jenner happens to be doing a photoshoot. Because anyone who’s ever been to a complain knows that a closed-off street with hundreds to thousands of people crushed up against each other like sardines, marching along at a snail’s pace while chanting, is the perfect place to hit some way ad.

I mean, this has got to be the weakest complain ever. “Join the conversation”? That’s not a call to action. That would be like if I showed up to the Women’s March like “Hey misogynistic humankinds, can you guys kindly consider making wives equal rights and we can talk about bodily sovereignty later? No? OK.”

Here we have Kendall, sporting a blonde wig and some Lala Kent hoops. The hoops are irrelevant but the wig will become important later.

^ This is what democracy looks like!

Kendall assures this complain going on all of a suddenbecause apparently she hasn’t checked social media in the past week to see all the Facebook event RSVPs, I guessand gets this look in her eyes that tells “What are all those poor people doing down there? Don’t they know inside is where the air conditioner is? “

BUT THEN it all changes when a semi-cute guy with a cello on his back locks eyes with Kendall and dedicates her The Nod. She rips off her wig, smears her lipstick( the ultimate “fuck you” to the patriarchy) and joins the protestors, while the photographers are like “Bitch WTF you have a job to do, we get paid by the hour.” Kendall doesn’t care, thoughshe’s got a motion to join!

She makes her style to the front and grabs a Pepsi on the waybecause all complains arrive equipped with buckets of free Pepsi on iceand greets a line of police officers with an ice-cold can of Pepsi.

And just like that, we solved the issue of police barbarism, guys! Kendall turns back to the protestors, who are all applauding her on for her heroic act of courage. And to believe, all those policemen who killed unarmed people of color were just thirsty! Can we add that we all know that if there was one soda to unite us all, it would be Diet Coke? Anyway. Everybody is happy, and one of the police officers definitely believed to be gonna fuck Kendall later. You can tell because he turns to his police buddy and dedicates him the following look 😛 TAGEND

If that doesn’t say “I’m SO gonna hit that, ” then I don’t know what does.

The whole plot of the commercial is very questionable, but for Pepsi to think someone like Kendall Jenner would be the right person to convey their pseudo-social justice message in the first place is more than a little alarming. Like, they could’ve easily utilized that cute Muslim girl with the head covering, but instead she was basically only Kendall’s adoring fan with a chunky video camera from the late 90 s.

What’s genuinely the most laughable, though, is that the face of this “movement, ” Kendall Jenner, is a rich white reality Tv starring with a questionable blondes wigsound like anyone we know? IRL Kendall is probably not mad about the tax breaks she’ll be get as a super rich person, and she definitely has never had to worry about the police get up in her business for no reason( let alone are concerned about not making it out of that interaction alive … but OK yeah you’re right I’ll leave that proportion to ). In fact, the only “protest” she’s been spotted at was that one year when the Chanel show was protest themed. Its v unclear how the person or persons at Pepsi belief this would go over well, but someone is definitely gonna lose their occupation over this.

Bottom line? Kendall’s a cute girl, but she’s clearly not the one who should be starring in commercials that are supposed to make any sort of political declaration. At least leave that to Shailene Woodley or something. And also Diet Coke is far superior to Pepsi and is relatively offended that Kendall would connote otherwise. Thats all.

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